THIS CARD to Gloria Estefan (born September 1, 1957)
Feliz Cumpleaños, Mrs. Estefan! I was introduced to you in the early nineties as a result of my sister's adolescent involvement in dance. Every year she would make me sit and watch her recorded dance show vhs tapes, and your songs seemed to be featured in many a dance routine, most notably Conga Beat, Rhythm is Gonna Get You, and Get on Your Feet. It's no wonder why your music and life story have even lent themselves so well to a hit Broadway musical (which I may fully intend to see at some point in the near future). You are a class act latina and solo queria esperarte un mes llena con mucha musica, bailando, y felicidad. Hay otra manera para celebrar? Well, a pinata of course!
THIS CARD to Jimmy Fallon (born September 19, 1974)
I realize I’m sending you a thank you note on your birthday but given your gift of thank you note writing, I felt this was most appropriate. It’s no surprise I always look forward to your thank you note segment being in the business of handwritten notes and all. I loved it when President Obama came on to write thank you notes alongside you, and on that same topic, his face in the background while you slow-jammed the news was pretty priceless.
So happy birthday, but THANK YOU for all the laughs.
THIS CARD to Abby Lee Miller (born September 21, 1966)
I just finished watching season 5 of Dance Moms and I cannot wait to see what happens next! You're a real character; I'm not always sure what to make of you since you often wind up in a screaming rage. But you have a genuine knack for dance instruction and technique that is truly impressive. I keep thinking to myself "well, she's not wrong!" Oh, and huge thanks for introducing everybody to Maddie Ziegler (happy birthday to Maddie, too!!). I'm so glad that Sia is also a fan of your show!
Anyway, I hope you have a deliciously happy birthday and that the year ahead is filled with many more wins for the Abby Lee Dance Company!
THIS CARD to Lil Wayne (born September 27, 1982)
Dear Lil Wayne,
Happy 34th Birthday! I know how old you are without even googling because we share the same birthday. I'll never forget when I heard you rapping "it was 9/27/82..." in my ear for the first time (grad school, 2006) so this year, when I raise a toast to being one year wiser, I'll send a big cheers your way. And I'll eat a piece of cake for you too because that only seems right!
THIS CARD to Sarah von Moritz (born September 27)
What can we say?! You’re the guac to our NFL season!!!!! The hoodie sweatshirt to our chilly morning commute!!! The good talk to our confused, frazzled selves!!! And we just wanted to wish you the happiest of autumnal birthdays (insert heart and leaves emojis)! You are such a delightful bundle of cheer, optimism, and sunshine!!! It's qualities like that which make Harris the mint plant thrive! May it be a cider-drinking, pumpkin-and-apple-picking, breath-in-the-crisp-fall-air kind of birthday/month!!!
Sincerely, All of Us
P.S. Clayton said it was imperative to use exclamation points after every sentence!!
THIS CARD to Erin Ellis (born September 30)
We’re so lucky you’ve joined our crazy crew and hope you have a fantastic birthday! It’s a delight to work with someone who understands our curious (some would so unhealthy) obsessions and introduced us to Chubbikins. If we were a temporary tattoo company, we would all wear “Team Erin” tats for your birthday but since we’re not perhaps we can all sing “Seize the Day” in unison.
Sincerely, All of Us
(image sources: CBS News, NBC, People, and Billboard)