Etiquette & Wording

How you choose to word your invitations can set the tone for your event. Observing formal standards or taking a more casual approach will inform guests about what to expect on your big day. Let your personality shine and have fun with the process! Best wishes!

Save the Date
Invitation
Reply Card

Save the Date Etiquette

While not required, save the dates are becoming more and more common. Many guests appreciate the advance notice, particularly when you are having a summer, holiday, or destination wedding. The information should include your names and the date and city where the wedding will be held. Adding the URL to your wedding website where more details can be found is also recommended.

When should I notify my guests?

6-8 months prior

for a local wedding

Up to one year prior

for a destination wedding

reminder: firm up your guest list!

Any guest who receives a save the date must also get an invitation. Therefore it’s important that your guest list is firm before sending these out! Also, you are not obligated to send a save the date to every potential guest if you anticipate changes.

Still have questions?

Our free Wedding Stationery Etiquette & Wording Guide provides detailed information on Save The Date etiquette PLUS wording examples!

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Wedding Invitation Etiquette

Your invitation is the centerpiece of your wedding stationery. It not only informs your guests about the important details of your big day but also sets the stage through its colors aesthetic, and feel.

When should I mail my invitations?

8 weeks prior

for a local wedding

10-12 weeks prior

for destination weddings

WEDDING INVITATION wording

When wording your invitations, we suggest that you follow traditional etiquette to the extent that you find it helpful. Wording depends on who is hosting the event as well as the type of ceremony you are having. In the end, you should choose what feels right for you!

→ Host Line: Usually indicates who is hosting (and paying for) the wedding. While this was traditionally the bride’s parents, nowadays a range of hosts might be included. In the examples below, you’ll find specific wording options based on different hosting scenarios.
→ Request Line: Varies according to where the wedding ceremony is being held. The phrase ‘request the honor/honour of your presence’ is used for religious ceremonies held in a church, temple, or another place of worship. Either the American or British (with a ‘u’) version is acceptable. For non-religious venues, it is appropriate to say ‘request the pleasure of your company.’ For less formal or non-traditional weddings, choose wording that best fits your event.
→ Bride & Groom Lines: The names of the bride and groom are presented on separate lines. If the bride’s parents are in the host line above and the bride shares the last name, it is not repeated. Formal invitations refer to the groom by his full name, preceded by his title.

→ Date & Time Lines: Spell out numbers for the time and date on formal invitations. It is proper to say “o’clock” and “half after” (not “half past”) to indicate the time. Designating the time of day with “in the morning/evening” is helpful if the wedding is held at 8, 9, or 10 o’clock otherwise it is optional. Any time from 6 pm or later is considered evening.
→ Location Lines: The venue, city, and state are written out in full with no abbreviations. The street address is unnecessary unless the wedding is taking place at a site that is not well known (e.g., private residence). The ZIP code should not be listed.
→ Reception Line: If your reception will be held in the same location as your ceremony, you can simply state ‘reception to follow’ or ‘dinner and dancing to follow’ on the last line of the invitation. When the reception is held elsewhere, formal invitations include the reception information on a separate card.
→ Attire: If the style of dress is important to note for your guests (e.g. black tie) you can add a line regarding attire to the lower right corner of the invitation or reception card.

Looking for examples?

Our free Wedding Stationery Etiquette & Wording Guide includes wording examples galore!

REPLY CARD ETIQUETTE

Reply (or response) cards allow guests to let you know whether they will attend your wedding or not. As a common courtesy, the reply envelope should be self-addressed and pre-stamped so that your guests can easily mail their reply in a timely manner.

For the most formal reply cards, there is a single line of text requesting a reply along with blank space for guests to write in their responses. Another approach is to provide the first letter of Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. (called the M line) with checkboxes for responses. Additionally, you may include menu choices for your guests or options to attend a post-wedding brunch or additional activity.

Reply Card Wording

→ Request Line: The formality of your wording should be consistent with your invitation. The phrase “the favor of a response is requested by” is the most formal. If your invitation is worded “the honor/honour of your presence” then the corresponding response text would be “the favor/favour of a reply.” The phrases “please respond by” or “kindly reply by” are less formal.
→ Return Date: Check with your caterer and/or venue to see when they will need a final headcount. Build in some extra time to track down any non-responses and finalize the numbers. Typically, setting the reply by date about 4 weeks prior to the wedding is an adequate period of time. Ideally, it will be about midway between your mail date and wedding. When writing out the reply by date, follow the same format as you did on the invitation and leave out the year.

→ M Line: The M in front of the line is for your guests to continue with Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. followed by their names. Although depending on your personal preference, some people choose to lead the line with “name(s)” instead.
→ Response Options: You can personalize how you word responses on the reply card to fit your occasion. The phrases “accepts with pleasure / declines with regret” are traditional. If you prefer a less formal tone, there are many other creative options from “can’t wait! / can’t make it” to “wouldn’t miss it / toasting from afar”.
→ Meal Options: If you need an exact count of the entrées your caterer will need to serve, you can allow guests to indicate their preference by either listing meal options by meat choices (e.g., chicken, fish, vegetarian) or using small icons. We advise that you ask that each guest to initial their entrée choice so that you know exactly to whom the meal should be served.

Looking for more details?

Our free Wedding Stationery Etiquette & Wording Guide gives you everything you need to know about reply card etiquette plus wording examples!

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